|
[31 Jul 2006|02:03am] |
So I made a new livejournal it even has a pretty layout, add it when you get the chance. I'll probably add you before then though
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) teleavenuekiss
|
|
|
[31 Jul 2006|12:34am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Tiny Dancer"- Ben Folds |
] |
So I had another good night spent with Christina and miss Gabby King. We talked a bunches here, then the Bobby and Aaron came and took us out to eat at Dysarts, Aaron treated everyone cause he rocks like that. We laughed about "Toss my salad". It was a good night.
I'm so tired right now, thus the short entry.
Goodnight everyone.
|
|
|
[30 Jul 2006|12:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy |
] |
I'm in a SUPER good mood right now.
Not for any particular reason, it's just a beautiful day and I'm feeling great!
I had a great time last night with Christina, Gabrielle K, and Jorie. We went to the fair spent wayy too much money, on rides but Gabby K is awesome needless too say. We got to go on the new rollercoaster ride for free, because the guys wanted to talk to us and they had some foreign accent from I don't know where but I got a phone call this morning and it was like "I just wanted to let you know you are the most gorgeous girl in Maine" and I'm like half asleep..I'm like wait whos...oh "hey" hahaha it was the guy with the awesome accent. Gabby K and I got a bunch of free stuff we got to play games for free, and I even got a free little stuffed animal. haha it's good to be sexy, lol...even though I wasn't feeling that well yesterday. But I had a fabulous time with those girls, thats what I needed...a night with the gals.
I can't wait until the fair on Wednesday it's gonna be a blast. There wasn't a lot of people there, I guess they're all waiting for those wristband days haha. Wow I'm in wayy to awesome of a mood right now. And it's great because it's not because of some guy or anyone I'm just happy. I made plans to hang out with everyone soon so that's good. Jared's back from camp thing so we're gonna hang out. And Brian H wants to hang out sometime soon. And Kevin is going to try to come up here next time Seth and Steve come up. Yay.
Well I got clothes to fold.
|
|
|
[28 Jul 2006|12:50pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Young & The Restless |
] |
So I'm going to try to be a little more optimistic. Next week shall be good, fair time and I get to see my girls that I haven't seen all summer and it depresses me. But the fair always brings good times and memories.
Guys right now are a waste of my time. Although, I've talked to Kevin a lot lately. He's awesome, he always cheers me up. And he's not like every other guy who has to hit on me...like damn your fine. That stuff's flattering but I like to have someone to actually talk to. He's into music which is a huge plus, he plays the drums another plus, and he likes Angels and Airwaves as much as I do. We're going to move to Australia and be badass outlaws...it's gonna be great. He lives in Windham though, and he doesn't have a car right now since the accident, which sucks. He's a wicked cool kid though.
I talked to the ex yesterday...and no not Andrew. I know OMG right? heh.. He IMed me the other night while I was upstairs asking if I'm going to hold a grudge over him for the rest of my life. Even though I hated what he did, he's sorry for it and it's okay to forgive people. I'm not saying we're best friends now, but hey it's good we cleared everything up. We don't hate each other. That's good.
I need to enjoy the rest of my summer, because I'm going to have a heavy plate once schools starts up again.
I want to go shopping today. I'm gonna ask my mom if she's up to going out, I just want to get out right now.
THURSDAY...SAY WHAATTTTT : 11/18 Worcester, MA @ The Palladium *I need to go to this.
|
|
|
[27 Jul 2006|07:43pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"If We're All Alone..."- October Fall |
] |
I'm just overall pissed off and stressed out right now.
All the pictures that were ever on my computer are gone, I'm not saying it's anyones fault I'm just annoyed and I want them back.
I'm mad cause I haven't seen my friends in forever, it's hard when you dont have a car or a license you just can't go out when you want to. I'm so sick of being stuck inside this house, I'm going crazy. I haven't talked to my "best friend" in a week. I just want to hang out with people. But everyones always busy or working.
Everything just sucks right now.
|
|
|
[26 Jul 2006|09:15am] |
|
I feel I lost hope in everything lately. Let's face it nothing ever works out. I feel I'm out of touch with life. I feel complety miserable right now. Yesteday I slept pretty much all day, I woke up took a shower...wondered downstairs and fell alseep again. I feel sick. I hate being this way.
Sorry for the pointless entries.
|
|
|
[25 Jul 2006|01:33am] |
FUCK YOU!
FUCK
EVERYTHING
im done!
AHHHHH!
|
|
|
[24 Jul 2006|07:30pm] |
The Angels and Airwaves CD is incredible! I'm glad I went out and got it....amazing.
Christina's new outfits = adorable hxc.
I'm in a pretty decent mood right now, actually I'm happy right now.
Let's see how long this is going to last for.
|
|
|
[23 Jul 2006|02:58pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Valkyrie Missile"- Angels and Airwaves |
] |
So I stayed in bed until about 2, I just didn't feel like getting up. I had so much things on my mind that I had to straighten everything out before I woke up, because I couldn't let another day go on not knowing. So I woke up took a shower, and sent out what I was wanting to know and I told that person how I felt and all, so hopefully I talked to that person later. I feel better that I finally got what I wanted to say out of my head...because these thoughts have been haunting me. I can't hold in my feelings, I did what I had to. Even if I get the response I don't want, at least I'll know...and not keep wondering what's going on.
I don't feel happy lately. I just feel so useless, and unwanted I guess. I just want to be happy. This summer is going by too fast, and I haven't had too many happy memories yet. I've hung out with people I really wanted too only a few times. But I still want to see my other friends, hopefully this week will give me time to do that. I know I'm hanging out with Kayla sometime this week, I haven't hung out with that girl in such a long time and I missed her and I want to spend sometime with her before she goes off to college. And Katee comes back in 3 days! Then there's the fair, which is good oppurtunity to hang out with people, I know Tim wants to hang out with me sometime at the fair, but I'm going to go as many days as I can to hang out with people. I don't even care that much about the fair, I just need to see my friends. I miss everyone.
It's funny because every Summer I seem to change some. I'm going to try to be more out going next year, and get to know people I didn't. Hell I barely know some of these people and I've been going to school with them since 6th grade...and I just decide my Senior year I'm going to get to know more people. Heh oh well, better late than never.
I love Angels and Airwaves...I need to go to Bullmoose sometime this week to get their CD.
Hopefully it's a good week. I'm going to try my hardest to stay optimistic, even if things don't go well today. Uh I just need to know.
|
|
|
[20 Jul 2006|11:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
Uh hanging out with people always makes me feel better. I was starting to feel really lonely too. So I hung out with Mike, Jared, Jeremy, Justin, Ben and Phil. We hung out at Justins for awhile then met up with Ben (who use to be in Daybreak Red) at Mickeys Ds...and then headed to the Underground so they could practice for tomorrow. They sounded really good tonight, it kinda makes up for me not going to their show tomorrow. I would if I could though. And Ive been home for a while, I'm kinda tired but I can't sleep...I dont know why but for the past week or soI haven't been able to fall asleep and it sucks. So I'll probably take some Tylenol PM before bed. Maybe write or draw for a bit..I don't know, we'll see if I'm too tired or not.
After being around them forever I'm gonna have the Symmetry stuck in my head...haha oh well. "Dont tell secrets you never keep them for your own, and you'll regret this when you get old"
...time to try to sleep.
|
|
|
[19 Jul 2006|08:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"A New Arrangement"- Bright Eyes |
] |
So my hair turned out lovely, Heather is a genious. It took 3 hrs to get my hair back to its previous state. But I happy with it again, so that's all the matter. 100 dollars later heh.
Today was a pretty good day. I went to Wal-mart at my mom and we refrained at yelling at the crazy lady almost running into us with her shopping cart (she was literally running through the store), but I didnt refrain from flicking off the guy who almost hit our car. heh. Then we went to pick up Christina from work and went to Ruby Tuesdays. I helped one lady who was ridiculously lost in Filenes, shes like is this the mall? I would of said she was drunk, but she was just from out of state. I saw Jared at the mall and he was hanging out with Pat, and that was really awkward. But then Christina, my mom and I went to Urban Behavior and I got a really cute black dress for $4.99 I love that store. And I got a necklace to go with it for $2.99, that store is crazy cheap, I love it. I want everything. I was going to hang out with Mike face tonight, at Justins but he's not going to be here until 11 so I'll probably just hang out with him tomorrow. I'm so bored, I wish I could have went to Kyns to hang out with her and Kristina...but no I'm stuck here bored as hell.
And the funny thing is technically I'm still grounded, but I have my cell phone I know how to get on the interent and my mom lets me hang out with people. But next Tuesday when my dad gets back from Northern Maine I'm ungrounded...jeez talk about a long time. But oh well. I guess I'm just missing the show on Friday, but I'll be at the one next week...so its all good. I'm not completely a horrible person.
I'm happy with things right now. I have a feeling everything is going to be good.
|
|
|
[18 Jul 2006|10:32am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
MADE |
] |
So Nascar was good. Even though I had to wake up at 3:30am Sunday...uck. It was hot as hell out, but it was hilarious because the whole time we were sitting by some crazy drunk/cowgirl looking chick. It was annoying cause she kept standing up...but it was hilarious because after the race they had some band play, and she was dancing and I got in on video on my phone...haha. My mom got lost like 2 seconds after we left the car...but my dad ran into Kristina who found me, kasey and christina. It's crazy there were so many people, I didn't expect to run into her. It was fun though, but a long fucking ride there and back.
So I decided I HATE my hair black, and me being lame cried about how much I hated it yesterday. It looks bad. So Kasey and I went to Rite Aid and got some more hair dye, thinking we can fix it...so we got dark blonde in hopes it would come out brown...but it fucking barely did anything and for the most part it's still black. So that's the last of me dying my hair by myself (as of now). So I'm going to Scissor Excitement later to get my hair stripped and re-dyed. I hate the fact that a $4 dollar thing of hairdye is now costing $100 to get it fixed. pshh. Beware of dying your hair. :-X
I have sunburn on my shoulders from Nascar...who knew tan people can actually burn too :( But its only on my shoulders...and it sucks hxc.
Meh.
|
|
|
[15 Jul 2006|02:17am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
So my last entry was all like #$%#^@
But right now I'm in a pretty decent mood. I like how I cant sleep so I sneak on the computer at 2am...bad kid right here. But Im happy cause I spent the day with my mom, got some things for my room. I dyed my hair black...I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, but oh well..its black now. haha. And yes it actually is a pretty dramatic change considering for the summer my hair was golden brown-mahogonyish color. I'll probably dye it again before school start. I know dying hair bad...but oh well im a teenage girl I have the right to expirement. I miss everyone so much....I feel like I barely got to hang out with anyone this summer, its depressing cause its going by wicked fast. argggles. But I get to see Kasey and peoples at stans party tomorrow. YAY. and hopefully see Kristina at Nascar on sunday YIPPIE! hehe...im too awake, i should be sleeping but i cant lately. its too hot. hopefully i can keep happy nina happy for awhile.
|
|
|
[13 Jul 2006|11:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pissed off |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Mitton St. Posse"- The Leftovers |
] |
So basically my current mood is fuck everyone/everything.
DON'T stop by my house...I don't fucking care who you are just don't. I'm trying to get ungrounded sometime soon, and I don't need people stopping over pissing off my parents. If you wan't to be a good friend don't call/stop over. I'll tell you when I can hang out again.
It doesn't really matter that I'm grounded anymore, I can't see the people I want to. I don't know where the hell Kasey is...I'm tired of calling her and only getting her dad. I need to talk to her though. I don't want to really hang out with anyone else. I hate the way all my friends are turning. It's stupid. All my friends seem to be hanging out with people I don't like...especially a certain somebody. And I'm not going to hang out with that person so don't be expecting me to be hanging out with you anytime soon. I know it sounds immature but lets see I have a choice of either hanging out with that person and getting kicked out of my house or not hanging out with that person. So what would you do? He's not a good friend, he never was a good friend to me. He was never around when I needed a good friend...but he was around when he needed Christina and I to help him out. He manipulates and uses people, and I just don't like him as a person at all.
I honestly don't care if I have to get a whole new group of friends, because right now this is all bullshit and I'm really pissed off right now. I'm tired of the whole party scene. I don't care what you people do, but don't expect me to have any part in it anymore. I'm done. I rather sit home and be grounded.I'm actually glad I get to be isolated from people for awhile, because they only disappoint me. I'll hang out with people I actually like, and care about when this is over. You'll see if I think you're really my friends or not. And considering I'm not down with the whole party scene anymore...what do you think?
I'm not trying to be a bitch or hurt anyones feelings...but I'm done with all this shit.
I'd rather get the hell away from Maine, than be ungrounded...I just want to get away for a while. I need to get away.
FUCK!
|
|
|
[12 Jul 2006|01:42pm] |
So onto things I haven't had the chance to really sit down a write about...here's my entry.
I've been really stressed out lately, I hate being locked up in my house. I can barely use the computer or talk on the phone. The only reason I'm on the computer right now is because my mom is letting me get online. I regret so much that I lied to my parents. They have every reason to punish me. This also made me open my eyes more, about what's more important. I don't like the fact that I lost my father's trust. We're still a close family, but I hope he realizes that I do think what I did was stupid and immature. I'm also done drinking. It gets me sick, and it's no good way to have fun. I'm 17 I don't need to be drinking to have fun. I have all my college years for things like that. I need to worry more about school, grades, SATs (yes I'm taking them for a third time) and other future goals. And if my friends don't except that, well that's they're problem and I don't need them.
Onto other things. I honestly care about him, and I know things are different between us now. It took me some growing up and maturing to realize that I do care about him. I've dated other guys, and none of them made me feel the way he does. And it's not just sweet talk, or little things...it's more than that. My last relationship wasn't opened...and I didn't feel like I can express my feelings with Andrew even though we had an intimate relationship. But with him, I feel like I can tell him how I feel and not be worried, shy or ashamed. It's not some stupid crush either, and maybe if things don't work out with me and him it will be better than me sitting here wondering what if. I just feel this is right.
I just wish I was ungrounded so I can go out and get things done. My parents apparently had a talk and they decided to pay for my driver's ed finally. It's embarrasing I'm going into my Senior year of high school without merely a permit. It's ridiculous. I'm also using my $8,000.00 towards college and not a car...my parents are going to help me out on the car department..while the money I have goes towards college. I'm also trying to convince my dad to let me live on campus, if 8grand of my own money is going towards college than I feel I have the right to live on collge. Plus it would be ridiculous driving back from Orono to Hampden everday. I'm still applying to Northeastern too though...and I'd leave Maine in a heartbeat if I got in.
But for now there's clothes I need to fold, and I really should go and take a shower...haha.
Hopefully I'm back online soon.
|
|
|
[11 Jul 2006|11:08am] |
|
Being grounded sucks
so basically, nothing has happened. hung out with old people.ate.watched tv.finished my room. cried.ate.watched tv. missed him a lot. been miserable. regretted. missed kasey. missed everyone. still sad. ugh being grounded sucks hxc. but i talked to him today...things havent changed which is good :) i adore him and will see him next week fo sho. <3 ungrounded = the 15th. will be at stans party saturday and nascar with kasey in loudon, nh on sunday. my life. yay.
|
|
|
[28 Jun 2006|01:43pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Better Scene Than Heard"- Ambry |
] |
Yesterday was fun after my densist appt. Mike and Justin picked me up and we went to the Attic and the band wasn't there yet so we went to Justin's to get his amp and guitar. Then back to the attic...it was so ghetto there was milk that expired May 8th just sitting there. Then Phil, and Jared showed up. Practice lasted about 20mins after everything was set up, because Phils family was having some party, and it smelled like ass since Phil threw the milk out the window. So we went to the apartment, hung out there and John and Jeremy was there for a while...listened to The Symmetry demo like 8439 times haha. Mike got out the bible and preached to everyone. Then we got bored so we decided to go the mall...While Jared was driving in front of us like a mad man looking for his wallet some hooker looking girls were talking to Jared and John, and me Justin and Mike were in another car and Justin goes "ask them how much theyre worth" and the girl came over to Justins window and was like "Roll down your window blah blah...why would you say how much I'm worth...how much are you worth" It was really funny...all in all we drove past them again and Mike through a handful of change at them. haha. Good times. We finally made it to the mall, saw Logan Deane...we all raped her especially John. haha. Then Mike brought me home, cause Kasey was hanging out at my house and I havent seen her in a bijillion years and it was getting late. I get home and theres no Christina or Kasey. But I found them they were with Gabby...then we went to Irving....creepy guy... And we saw Beth and her baby and went back home. Kasey and I played dress up, made my mom take us to the store at 12:30 watched the Notebook, ate poutine fell asleep...and woke up like 20 mins ago. And now Christina and Kasey are telling me to make them food. I need to shower.
|
|
| Lovesong Writer |
[26 Jun 2006|11:56am] |
Sitting alone in the dark of a stadium
He whispers his secrets into a cheap guitar
Wtih the flick of his wrist he turns words into melodies
Chords into church bells fill up the allies
Loves intwine by the heat of the night
And by dawn are apart in the shivering silences
We will pretend
That it's all just made up.
The songs that he writes, are too personal
He can't play them for anyone
When he's all alone, the lovesong writer sings
Oooh
Can anyone hear me now?
But no one hears at him now.
So he stumbles through syllables, cut from their sentences
Lost letters call to him deep in the alphabet
"Please give us meaning"
Pose for me now
You're the broken heart
You're the sigh in the back of the throat
And on the otherside
You're the queen of spades
You're the sound that she makes on her way
There's always a way out
(Thursday)
|
|
|
[25 Jun 2006|04:33pm] |
|
<3 the worst is over you can have the best of me.
no one can bring me down right now.
cause I always find myself thinking of you
|
|
|
[23 Jun 2006|12:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
optimistic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"The Night Life"- The Starting Line |
] |
So it's finally Friday! Which means Dan Keykecks (probably not how you spell his last name but thats how it sounds) party..and I'm actually happy cause this means I get to get away from my house. I still have tons of cleaning to do, but honestly I'm not too worried about that right now.
I'm in a wicked good mood today, and it's not because of any one person or what not...I'm just genuinely happy...and it's been so long for be to be able to say that. I'm not going to sit around and be sad all summer. I'm gonna go out have fun, paint my room...and I don't know what I'm gonna do after that, maybe go to Florida with Kasey and Tracy or have a sweet ass toga party with Nick. Whatever it may be, it's going to be awesome. I just need to stay optimistic. =D
My To-Do List is top secret...acually myspace is just being wicked silly right now and messing up my lines, but it's all good.
Shower time?
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
